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Female Narrator:
Previously on 'Forgive Me':
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I'm not crazy.
I'm not mentally ill.
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It's just every time I tell
people I'm not afraid to die
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everybody acts
like I've lost my mind.
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Even the other priests.
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[crying in pain]
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[heavy breathing]
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I think I should sue.
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Sue?
The church?
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I don't want you to tell
anyone, about any of this;
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the lawsuit, the
letter, none of it.
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If your bosses see the
letter they're gonna just--
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it'll give them a chance to
cover it up, cover it up more.
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They wouldn't. I don't think
they would cover this up.
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Genesius did.
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No, he didn't. Gene
reported it. He reported it.
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You can see that in
the letter that you have.
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Well he didn't
go to the police.
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No, but, hey
this works both ways.
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Gene couldn't go to
the police with something
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that your mother
told him in a confession.
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Alright?
He couldn't.
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Just like right now, I
can't go to the authorities,
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I can't go to
the higher ups
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with this plan of
yours to sue the church.
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You have my word, I will
not tell anybody, I can't.
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It's not all
about money, is it?
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For me, and the
church it's-- just move on.
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Put it behind us,
just clean it up.
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Should I settle?
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I don't know.
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I mean, I don't
think that you should worry
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about what the
church is gonna do,
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they have people thinking
about that, believe me.
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I'm a church member,
how can I not think about
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what's good for the church? It's
[sighs], it's one and the same.
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It's about uh,
Jonathon O'Leary.
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You know who that is?
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Yeah.
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Mr. O'Leary is
alleging sexual abuse
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in his history
in the diocese.
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Do you know
anything about that?
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Not that I can talk about.
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About the abuse?
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Alleged!
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Alleged abuse?
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I don't know how to
answer. Mr. O'Leary is penitent.
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Have you spoken to
him outside the booth?
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A couple of times.
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Did you give
him the letters?
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? 'Ave Maria' by
Christopher Frances Mitchell ?
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? 'Ave Maria' by
Christopher Frances Mitchell ?
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[singing]
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What, is he
staying here now?
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You want to
send him to a motel?
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a choir in this. Hello.
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Morning.
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Morning.
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I was just telling the Bishop
that we no longer have a choir.
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He thinks
that's a bad idea.
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You sing?
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I'm uh, more
of a rapper.
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A rapper?
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Well, we're all rappers.
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I'm not.
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Me neither.
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[banging noises on steel tub]
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What's wrong with you?
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Did you fall in there?
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No. Sorry I just-- I
thought I saw something.
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I was wrong.
It startled me.
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What'd you see?
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[sighs]
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I, I thought that was
all done with, you said.
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They're back?
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They never went away.
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You lied to me?
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I just, I just didn't
want you to worry about me.
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You worry enough about me.
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What does
the doctor say?
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Same as ever.
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Brain tumour causes
the visitations,
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only they say
hallucinations.
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And what
are they doing?
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I don't want to treat it.
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What are you
talking about?
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I don't want to
fight God's plan.
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You treat the
tumor, they don't like it.
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Who?
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Saints... angels.
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Are you shittin' me?
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Look, look, the
tumour's not growing. Okay?
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They can attack it
and they wanna attack it.
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I just-- I don't know
if I should put my faith in,
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like, a bunch of doctors.
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I've always put
my faith in God.
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We have faith in both.
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God and doctors.
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But that's not faith.
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I wanna live,
but these treatments,
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they don't, they don't diminish
the visitations, exactly.
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I mean, the-the
treatments exacerbate them,
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they don't like it.
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What do you think
these visions are?
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Visitations.
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And what, what do you think
they're trying to tell you?
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Maybe this...
isn't neurological.
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Maybe it's psychiatric.
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Maybe it's religious.
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Right? Like why?
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Why is that the one
possibility you're not open to?
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That's not how
God speaks to you.
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[sighs]
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Maybe he's
never spoken to you.
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Is this appropriate?
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Forgive me Father,
for I have sinned.
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There must be somewhere
else that you can confess.
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This is the parish
where I'm spending my time,
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thanks to you.
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How far do you think I should
drive to receive a sacrament?
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It's been one week
since my last confession.
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Okay.
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I resent you.
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[scoffs]
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Is that the
confession?
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You've raised
anger inside of me
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like I haven't felt
in a long, long time.
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I've even hoped that
that tumour in your head
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would rip you from this
earth sooner than later.
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I'm sensing
a theme here.
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[laughs]
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Mmm.
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Yes. Yes.
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In making me hate you,
which you did so easily,
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you forced me to
examine my feelings.
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Of course it's
not you that I hate.
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It's my own
sins that I hate.
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The ones buried
deep in the past,
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festering for
decades, half a lifetime.
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Like your friend,
Johnny O'Leary.
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I don't think I
wanna hear this.
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What?
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I said I don't think
I want to hear this.
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Is, is that how
this sacrament works?
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In your mind?
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You, you pick and choose
what sins you want to forgive?
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Maybe you should be
talking to the police.
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Maybe I should.
Maybe I have.
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Have you?
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Police don't
listen to sins. Huh?
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I don't
listen to crimes.
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But you've wanted nothing
more than to hear what happened,
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lo, those forty years ago.
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Not in here.
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Then where? Somewhere you
can use it against this church?
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I don't do anything
to hurt this church.
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Give it as an offering to
Johnny O'Leary and his lawyers.
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Fine.
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Then go ahead.
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Ask for forgiveness.
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It's what you've imagined, we
chose the welfare of the parish
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over the
welfare of a child.
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We being?
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The Prelate, myself,
your Father Genesius.
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Higher than that?
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Higher than
that, we didn't go.
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That man, the choirmaster who
molested your friend O'Leary,
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was passed on to us
from some rural parish,
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and we sent him on.
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You weren't ordered to send
him to another parish out west?
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We just ran
him out of town.
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He decided where to go.
He had friends out there.
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I see.
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So you covered up a child abuser
and sent him to another parish.
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No.
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You just said that.
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You're hearing
what you want to hear.
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We didn't
cover up a crime.
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The abuse
was a suspicion.
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Alleged.
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The mother
suspected was all.
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The, the boy wouldn't
admit it, nobody named it.
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Nobody pressed charges.
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Did anyone confess it?
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Maybe to God.
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What did the
choirmaster say?
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Outside the booth?
Denied every bit of it.
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Outside the booth.
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Were you his priest?
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I was a priest
here, in this parish.
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Did the choirmaster
confess it to you?
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[metal grill clangs]
This is my confession, remember?
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Is it?
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00:14:40,551 --> 00:14:42,447
Are you sorry?
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00:14:42,551 --> 00:14:45,102
Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
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00:14:45,206 --> 00:14:49,413
Because you've been clear
that somebody was very hurt,
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00:14:49,516 --> 00:14:51,688
and because I
didn't do everything
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00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,102
that I
possibly could do,
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and other people
got hurt, other children.
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Sin of hubris.
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00:14:58,619 --> 00:15:00,791
Short-sightedness.
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00:15:00,895 --> 00:15:05,344
Thought I was protecting
the people here; my people,
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00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,791
that I'm responsible for.
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00:15:07,895 --> 00:15:09,344
Except a teenage boy.
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00:15:09,447 --> 00:15:11,275
Especially the teenage boy.
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00:15:14,482 --> 00:15:19,860
His mother, Mrs. O'Leary, she
comes and says her son is moody,
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00:15:19,964 --> 00:15:24,860
fragile, and she finds some
signs he's been tampered with.
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00:15:24,964 --> 00:15:31,516
Soiled pants, blood stains or
some such, some bodily fluids.
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00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:36,929
So we decide Genesius
will speak with the boy,
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00:15:37,033 --> 00:15:38,653
see what he
can find out.
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00:15:38,757 --> 00:15:41,860
And Johnny didn't give
him the details. I know.
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00:15:41,964 --> 00:15:44,171
Okay, I know,
because he was scared.
213
00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:48,964
We were all scared!
Like you are now!
214
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:53,516
I'm only thing I am scared
of is doing the wrong thing.
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00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,171
Making it worse
for John O'Leary.
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00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:58,688
[whispered]
That's what we all want.
217
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,171
Then and now.
218
00:16:05,275 --> 00:16:08,240
But you have a
lot more than that
219
00:16:08,344 --> 00:16:11,413
to be scared
about, don't you?
220
00:16:11,516 --> 00:16:14,482
The walls of the
church aren't deaf, Father.
221
00:16:14,584 --> 00:16:17,999
There's been talk about
your sins for some time now.
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00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:21,413
You think that my
secrets have more power
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00:16:21,516 --> 00:16:22,929
to harm the
parish than yours?
224
00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:25,240
I didn't know
it was a contest.
225
00:16:25,344 --> 00:16:30,826
"It's never the sin, it's
the secrecy, the cover up."
226
00:16:30,929 --> 00:16:32,447
Didn't you say that?
227
00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:35,653
Sounds like me.
228
00:16:35,757 --> 00:16:38,240
You could've chosen a
less conspicuous place
229
00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:42,929
to hide your love child than
your own grandmother's house.
230
00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:47,240
I dunno, it just...
seemed best at the time.
231
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:49,895
Exactly!
232
00:16:49,999 --> 00:16:52,275
So you do understand.
233
00:16:54,275 --> 00:16:55,722
Is that why
you're here?
234
00:16:55,826 --> 00:16:58,515
I want you to
be careful, Father.
235
00:16:58,619 --> 00:17:00,999
We both have
matters in our past
236
00:17:01,102 --> 00:17:06,309
that we'd like to have
handled delicately today.
237
00:17:06,413 --> 00:17:08,413
You're negotiating with me.
238
00:17:08,515 --> 00:17:13,999
[chuckles] I don't
need to negotiate with you.
239
00:17:14,102 --> 00:17:16,964
I'm trying to
help you understand.
240
00:17:17,068 --> 00:17:21,826
Trying to make you see
that we're not so different.
241
00:17:21,929 --> 00:17:24,309
That every sin
bears forgiveness.
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00:17:24,413 --> 00:17:29,240
Every mistake.
Yours... and mine.
243
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:38,344
My mistake was being
a careless teenage boy.
244
00:17:42,619 --> 00:17:45,964
What you did
should be a crime.
245
00:17:46,068 --> 00:17:48,378
I don't know if
it is, it should be.
246
00:17:48,481 --> 00:17:52,446
You're putting me together
with rapists and abusers.
247
00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:59,999
All I did was fire an employee
and leave that family in peace.
248
00:18:00,102 --> 00:18:01,895
[scoffs] You obviously
don't know the O'Learys.
249
00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:05,929
I don't think they've
had a moment of peace.
250
00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:11,550
Not because of my sins.
251
00:18:11,653 --> 00:18:14,378
What about the sin of
diminishing the Catholic church?
252
00:18:16,412 --> 00:18:18,722
Turning people
away from God.
253
00:18:18,826 --> 00:18:20,999
Destroying
people's faith.
254
00:18:21,102 --> 00:18:25,722
Oh, no one's left this
congregation because of me.
255
00:18:25,826 --> 00:18:27,757
Can you say the same?
256
00:18:29,688 --> 00:18:33,378
People think this whole religion
is a crumbling institution,
257
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:34,860
because of
people like you.
258
00:18:34,964 --> 00:18:37,722
I don't know how the
church will ever be the same.
259
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,550
I don't know how this
parish will ever be the same
260
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,860
in anybody's eyes.
261
00:18:42,964 --> 00:18:46,033
When people say they
want to return to the past,
262
00:18:46,137 --> 00:18:49,033
to restore the church,
or restore the country,
263
00:18:49,137 --> 00:18:51,895
for that matter, restore
it to its former glory--
264
00:18:51,999 --> 00:18:55,377
what they're really
longing for is to return
265
00:18:55,481 --> 00:18:56,895
to some
moment in the past,
266
00:18:56,999 --> 00:19:00,826
before they lost their
own optimism. Mm hm.
267
00:19:03,999 --> 00:19:07,757
When they were still
hopeful about the future.
268
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:12,619
Some moment of childhood, before
life crushed their spirits,
269
00:19:12,722 --> 00:19:15,033
dashed their hopes.
270
00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:19,481
It's not some historical
time, it's a psychological time.
271
00:19:22,653 --> 00:19:27,515
What would we be
so nostalgic for?
272
00:19:27,619 --> 00:19:29,446
A hundred years ago?
273
00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:33,515
World war one? Great
Depression, things were better?
274
00:19:33,619 --> 00:19:38,102
World War Two,
Black-only water fountains,
275
00:19:38,206 --> 00:19:46,102
KKK lynchings, gay
castrations, Vietnam, 9-11?
276
00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:50,791
When exactly were things
so good we should go back?
277
00:19:50,895 --> 00:19:53,446
Did things go awry
when we gave women the vote
278
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:58,033
or when we freed
the slaves or just now?
279
00:20:00,653 --> 00:20:02,791
Same with the church.
280
00:20:02,895 --> 00:20:05,446
You don't need to
long for the good old days
281
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:08,446
of residential schools
and corporal punishment
282
00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:10,929
and bent over altar boys.
283
00:20:12,619 --> 00:20:17,895
Was a bigger church;
richer, more influential.
284
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:20,446
Wasn't a better church.
285
00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:24,446
You just long to feel
what you need to feel,
286
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:30,446
or what you used to feel
about it, before you grew up.
287
00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:35,446
Yeah. I long for the church that
I knew, before I knew about you.
288
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:40,068
Well, I can see you're
determined to be my enemy.
289
00:20:40,171 --> 00:20:42,964
We're certainly
not gonna be friends.
290
00:20:43,068 --> 00:20:46,964
You're gonna look back
on this one day and see
291
00:20:47,068 --> 00:20:52,102
what a naive and foolish
young man you are now.
292
00:20:52,206 --> 00:20:55,929
All the black
and white you see.
293
00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:59,860
The magic powers
you think you have.
294
00:20:59,964 --> 00:21:05,137
As if there was anything I could
do to take away that boy's hurt.
295
00:21:05,239 --> 00:21:09,515
People didn't want
people to know, then.
296
00:21:09,619 --> 00:21:12,171
The worst thing was
for people to find out.
297
00:21:12,274 --> 00:21:14,791
It's not like today.
298
00:21:16,274 --> 00:21:19,102
I wonder what goes
on in this booth today.
299
00:21:19,206 --> 00:21:22,619
This used to be the
one place in the world
300
00:21:22,722 --> 00:21:25,999
you could speak
your shame aloud.
301
00:21:27,999 --> 00:21:31,515
What do people
have to confess now,
302
00:21:31,619 --> 00:21:37,515
that they haven't already
posted online or twittered?
303
00:21:37,619 --> 00:21:39,929
No one hides anything.
304
00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:41,999
I think you
might be surprised.
305
00:21:42,102 --> 00:21:47,515
No, I wouldn't be.
306
00:21:47,619 --> 00:21:55,515
I knew... about the
choirmaster and the O'Leary boy.
307
00:21:55,619 --> 00:22:00,929
There was no
evidence, no witness.
308
00:22:01,033 --> 00:22:03,584
Nothing actionable.
309
00:22:03,688 --> 00:22:07,584
Then how? How?
How did you know?
310
00:22:07,688 --> 00:22:11,929
You're gonna hear things in
this booth that you'll spend
311
00:22:12,033 --> 00:22:17,239
the rest of your life
wishing that you never heard.
312
00:22:17,343 --> 00:22:21,033
Wishing you could un-hear.
313
00:22:21,137 --> 00:22:27,584
You will carry things to your
grave that will eat your guts
314
00:22:27,688 --> 00:22:32,688
and rot your stomach.
315
00:22:32,791 --> 00:22:37,929
Things that test
you and haunt you.
316
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:45,791
I think I already have.
317
00:22:48,619 --> 00:22:58,033
Then in the name of
God... please forgive me.
318
00:23:08,136 --> 00:23:18,136
?
319
00:23:18,239 --> 00:23:38,136
?
320
00:23:38,239 --> 00:23:58,136
?
321
00:23:58,239 --> 00:24:09,033
?
322
00:24:09,136 --> 00:24:10,999
Narrator:
Next time on 'Forgive Me':
323
00:24:11,101 --> 00:24:13,033
I've made mistakes.
324
00:24:13,136 --> 00:24:17,033
I was a terrible person,
I was a terrible mother.
325
00:24:17,136 --> 00:24:22,033
There is a difference
between accidental mistakes.
326
00:24:22,136 --> 00:24:24,999
and what you did,
which is deliberate cruelty.
327
00:24:25,101 --> 00:24:28,032
I'm begging for
forgiveness here!
328
00:24:28,136 --> 00:24:32,032
I'm not capable of that
level of generosity, I can't.
329
00:24:32,136 --> 00:24:34,032
I need your forgiveness.
330
00:24:34,757 --> 00:24:36,999
Can I give him a kidney?
331
00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:40,032
Don't even think about it.
332
00:24:40,136 --> 00:24:41,722
Even if you
were healthy, no!
333
00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:46,322
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